Patrick McCarthy

Highlights

• I've just come back from a 40 mile hike in the Sequoia National Park in California which nearly killed me. It was by far and away the hardest undertaking I've ever experienced. The three and a half day planned hike was shortened to two and half days due to the sheer misery of it all. The relentless blood thirsty attacks of the ubiquitous mosquitos ruined what was hoped to be a fun adventure amongst three friends. The plan was to take in some of the country's most beautiful vistas by day and stargaze in awe at night, pitched up around a camp fire eating marsh mellows and sipping on beers. Alas this wasn't to be. The mental meltdown caused by the incessant bombardment and consequential extreme fatigue turned this would be life affirming, friendship-bonding, blissful hike into a Steven King esque footslog for survival. It was brutal!!! And when nature calls?! OMG!..... After a fourteen mile hike, completely knackered, feet shredded, (note to reader, don't do a 40 mile hike in Nike Cortez's) I found myself hanging onto the trunk of a tree with one hand while dropping my pants, thighs at ninety degrees to the ground shaking with lactic acid, my white buttocks signaling - as well as any flashlight in the darkness - to any mosquito within half a mile. I challenge anybody to keep their sanity trying to wipe one's butt in pitch darkness while fending off a frenzied swarm of mosquitos. The ensuing blood bath that took place on either butt-cheek was of biblical proportion.
  
  I'm clearly still rocked by the whole experience otherwise I wouldn't be typing this as a bio. Apologies, just needed to tell someone.