House & Garden consists of two plays intended to be performed simultaneously in two spaces sharing the same cast.
Teddy Platt is a well-known local businessman whose forefathers were eminent local politicians. His wife Trish is vehemently ignoring him, so he takes the dog out for a walk. His daughter Sally is also ignoring him, whom Trish asks to stop using the lovestruck Jake, son of the local doctor Giles, and to attend the lunch for a visiting French film-star, Lucille Cadeau, and the novelist Gavin Ryng-Mayne. Sally meets Jake, who reveals Trish and Teddy are not speaking as Teddy is having an affair with his mother, Joanna, unknown to his father.
In the garden, Joanna hides in a bush when Warn enters, followed by Izzie whose lengthy gossip is met only by Warn’s grunts. Teddy meets Joanna about their affair, which he says must stop. Joanna breaks down and is found by Pearl, who suggests she should stick with Giles. He appears, but is only interested in his morris dancing at the afternoon fete. Pearl also talks to Warn – hinting something happened between him and her in the past. Jake tells Sally he hopes his father doesn’t discover his mother’s affair. Joanna has decided to confess though, but Trish bluntly tells her to end the affair, tell Giles and not to dare ruin the lunch party. Joanna, alone, rehearses her confession, alongside increasingly improbably suicide methods only for Warn to run her over with a lawn mower. Giles comes to help and Joanna reveals the truth. An enraged Giles shouts Teddy’s name.