Night Armour
2013, 7 minutes
Sophie goes on a date with Tony in her full 'night armour'.
Sophie epitomises the glamour and chic of today’s Britain and presents a flawless image of herself on a blind date with Tony. She has left nothing to chance, from the tip of her tinted hair to the toe of her designer shoes. And, like most women, she has used a vast array of make-up and aides to boost her confidence. As they enjoy their romantic meal at a lively Italian restaurant, Sophie is delighted to notice that her date is admiring her sylph-like figure and pert boobs. Tony drives Sophie back to her flat for coffee and although he’s keen to take things to the next level, Sophie skilfully deters him with the promise of things to come. She watches him disappear into the lift before starting to dismantle her ‘night armour’. Each action is carefully juxtaposed in flashback with her earlier appearance. Like voyeurs, we witness the stark difference between her elegant façade of earlier to the unembellished truth of later. False nails and eyelashes clatter like armour as they are separated from their owner to reveal habitually bitten nails and sparse eyelashes. Her tiny waist escapes with a groan of rippling fat from Spanx pants, and pert bosoms detach from uplift wires to lose their fight with gravity. Plunging into her beautifully sculptured hair, she removes countless combs and clips before retrieving a hair-piece as if magicking a rabbit from a hat. She finally splish sploshes make-up remover over her even, matt complexion to reveal a bright, shiny, face blotchy with imperfections. Having lost at least 4” of height from her discarded shoes, a squat Sophie retrieves Tony’s flowers from the hall table – and watches, horrified, as his car keys tumble in slow-motion to the floor ... just as the doorbell rings!
