Told to me by a very good American actor - BILL - who works 'over here' mostly. All true, it really did happen. And Bill told it well.
Bill went to an audition and had 'a good feeling' about it. His friend drove him back home and as he was putting the key in the door, Bill could hear the phone ringing. He fumbled and panicked with the door key and burst in leaving his friend to quietly shut the door and wait by the mat.
Bill picked up the phone and was overjoyed to hear that his agent was on the other end.
Bill: It's about the casting, I knew it … good news?
Agent: Er, not exactly.
B: What do you mean?
A: Well … you weren't successful. Sorry, but these things go like that.
B: What?? They didn't like the way I read. I could read again, do it differently.
A: You read just fine, nothing wrong with the way you read.
B: OK, it's my hair, they didn't like my hair, I could grow it, or get a wig made up, and hell, I could even grow a beard if they want me to!
A: Your hair's just fine, nothing wrong with it.
B: They didn't like my casual look. I can do smart … I can do scruffy!
A: What you were wearing was perfect, they didn't comment on that.
Bill, is now searching desperately for anything that might change the decision.
B: Oh I know, they didn't like my voice, my strong Jersey, I can do Deep South, easily.
A: Your voice was OK too.
Bill is now stumped, totally dumfounded and crestfallen, but he wants to know.
B: Alright then, tell me, what was it, what didn't they like?
Agent: They just didn't like …
There's a very long pause. And an intake of breath, which Bill hears.
'YOU!'