funny auditions

I hate auditions! However, they can sometimes be funny because they go wrong or people say stupid things under prssure etc. Have you got any funny audition stories to lighten the day and make everyone feel better about their audition that went badly.
An example - a friend of mine went to an audition an the director looked at her headshot and asked 'Is this photo in Spotlight?' 'Oh no,' she replied 'It was taken outside!'


  • 14 years ago
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ok my worst was just out of drama school and being asked to sing which terrifies me. I sang "Im gonna wash that man right out of my hair", nice simple song, easy to remember lyrics...you would think.
Singing makes me slightly nervous and act a bit mental so I sung from the sheet out of key, out of time and in my panic tried to dance a little to cover the mess coming out of mouth.
After I finished they just all looked at me bemused and said I didn't really need the words seeing as its pretty much one line repeated through the whole song.
I remember so clearly coming out of the audition feeling like I could just die there and then of shame, sitting at a bus shelter head in hands absolutely disparing of myself.
Yup didnt get the job! x


  • 14 years ago
  • 21
Nathan Head
Actor

oh Caroline!

the shame

and for them to comment on it too makes it even worse! gah lol


  • 14 years ago
  • 22

Even the best of us have bad audition days - there's a famous story of Michael Gambon going to audition for Laurence Olivier at the National Theatre. Olivier asked him what he was going to do and Gambon replied confidently 'Richard the Third.'
Olivier had such success in the role he was astonished a young actor could be so cocky so teased him by asking 'which part?' Gambon replied 'Richard the Third.'
'I know which play but which character??? Catesby? Ratcliffe? Buckingham??' said Olivier, continuing the wind up. 'Oh, I see,' said Gambon. 'Beg your pardon, Richard the Third.' ' What the King? Richard?' Said Olivier, stunned... 'the third yeah.' said Gambon losing confidence.
'You've got a fucking cheek, haven't you? Which part are you going to do?' asked Olivier. 'RICHARD THE THIRD!' said Gambon, exasperated.
'Don't start that again,' teased Olivier. 'I mean which speech?'
'Oh, I see. Was ever woman in this this humour woo'd.'
Olivier gave him the nod to begin and Gambon, thinking he'd made a huge tit of himself decided to add a bit of punch to the speech by starting off dramatically, so he swung round a pillar to launch himself into the beginning, caught a ring on a screw sticking out and nearly ripped one of his fingers off. A nurse had to be called and he suffered the indignation of being given first aid by the world's greatest actor.
Olivier must have felt a bit bad about the wind up though 'cos he offered him the job of spear carrier in the end.
It launched his acting career! (There's hope for us all.)


  • 14 years ago
  • 23

my first auditon was to get on my btec and the brief read perform a modern piece, now i was really new to this and was not really aware of what to do.....so i decided to do a piece from my favourite film....POINT BREAK and the worst bit i played both characters...at the end of the speech i also got on to my "surfboard" and "paddled to new zealand"

shocking


  • 14 years ago
  • 24
Kirk Moore
Actor

I auditioned for the Osaka Universal Studios Theme Park in Australia.
Unfortunately, I'd had too many shrimps on the Bar-B the night before and had ended up with a bad case of the, erm, 'brown trousers'.
This resulted in my letting rip with a thunderous fart mid-monologue....


  • 14 years ago
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Toni Brooks
Actor

PLEASE tell me it was for one of the characters in Wind in the Willows !!!


  • 14 years ago
  • 26

Brilliant for the King Lear speech!


  • 14 years ago
  • 27

In Australia to boot. Windy Down Under??


  • 14 years ago
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Alan Brent
Actor

I received a panic call from my agent to 'Get down to London tonight, I've got you an audition for first thing in the morning. I'll email you the stuff straightaway!'
So I got the email and set off without having time to read it through, got to London and sat in my hotel room to go through the part of 'Robert, Therapist'.
The script seemed really wierd but I worked out a routine for this guy to be really 'consultative and empathetic'.
Only at the ned of the piece did the casting director point out the spelling mistake. It was Robert, The Rapist!
No. No second chances!


  • 14 years ago
  • 29

Oh these stories are really making me laugh, cry and sometimes cringe.
Here's another one from a drama school audition. A young girl was asked what piece she was going to do and told the audition panel she was going to do Nina from The Seagull. She promply pulled out a dead pigeon from her bag threw it on the floor and launched into her speech!!
Apparently she'd found it lying in the road on the way to the drama college and decided to use it as a prop. Yuk!


  • 14 years ago
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Lee Ravitz
Actor

Alan, that story is truly brilliant!


  • 14 years ago
  • 31
Matthew Wade
Actor

not so funny but I'm sure we can all identify..can thank my agents for the first 2..

1) Casting for a major HBO/BBC series - actually via an ex tutor...GREAT! Only - it was my first audition after my MA in acting, and was to play Saddam Hussain's son. So a really major role. I was about 5 years too young, about 4 inches too tall, about 2 stone too thin, and then having been assured o the contrary by my agent, was immediately asked to do an Iraqi accent the second I walked in....I died on my arse! The casting director looked like she felt cheated the second I walked in as if she had never seen my photo...

2) Cattle calls - my personal favourite was one that my agent desribed as a seriotypical 70's office worker...so i turn up in my flared suit, a shirt and a bit of a fro.....and everyone else in the room was between 40 and 60 and most were fat(ish) balding and white.....turns out they were after a sixties trade union boss!

3)I walked into an audtion for a student film...ended up playing all 4 male parts as no other guys turned up...so chased myself round the room arguing with myself....in the end i got cast as twins!

Drama school ones are the best though - there's always someone who seems to have escaped from a day centre....


  • 14 years ago
  • 32

This is why I hate auditions.

Had one the other day for a new TV series and a lead role.

So I get myself looking as good as poss and set off for the audition in North London.

The train and tube are delayed and I arrive at the North London tube station at the time I'm supposed to be at the audition - but I figure no prob it's only a couple of minutes round the corner.

I start to walk the couple of steets it'd take me to get there and the heavens open and i'm caught in the biggest downpour London has seen since Noah. By the time I get to the audition I'm like a drowned rat. I quickly go to the loo to dry off as best as I can but as soon as I come out I'm called in to the audition and I can't help laughing my way thru it as I'm still soaked to the skin.

Haven't heard anything about the job since. An act of God?


  • 14 years ago
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