In reply to Blake's original post (from which the thread has, naturally, deviated) - I don't think there is a *decent* (and I use the word deliberately) director alive who wouldn't thank you for being strong and decisive, at least as regards your acting choices. What all good directors want to see is actors with character, backbone and determination - with imagination, and the ability to create; with the capacity for thinking outside the box, and adapting readily to new ideas; actors who want to push boundaries, to explore possibilities, to be as in touch as possible with their inner emotions. They don't want to see buttoned up, limited, crowd pleasing types. Though I agree with Matt - it's sometimes hard for nerves not to make you seem a little ropey in front of the 'big boys' - but even then, you can muster some dignity, and some presence if you work hard at it.
Of course, good directors will (and I think quite rightfully) get fed up with prima donnas, with habitual lateness, with an inability to listen to what the director is saying, with an actor so set in his or hers ways that they are not capable of opening up and adjusting to new ideas. And why not? This doesn't help them to do their job and achieve their aims for any performance.
But I did say *decent* directors - there are undoubtedly a whole crowd of so - called directors out there, who have very little real notion of what good direction is all about, but an ardent desire to be seen to have put a play on/made a film. These guys are always hard to work with, not least because there is a tendency to feel you could do a better job than they could given the opportunity. On these occasions, I think you just have to button your lip, and get on with the project till it ends. Either that, or ditch it. But really, if you are working with a director who has great training, years of experience, has produced countless others shows, is well - respected in the industry etc. etc., then their essential quality will soon shine through, and they will appreciate the fact that you are honest, and open, and emotionally engaged in every sense. If they don't, they are not to be taken seriously as a practitioner, IMHO.