I hear you, we've all been there, in this self doubt depressing state. Don't worry, it'll pass.
At the risk of being controversial, I believe that for some hardworking talented people, and you are one of them, it does get better. In fact, it already has.
If you look at the overall shape of your career, even if it has ups and downs, it has gone up.
Remember the time when you were an usher and struggled to get auditions for unpaid stuff? You're not there anymore. You are working consistently. You are getting paid to act. You will get to the point when you work consistently in better paid jobs. But there will always be a better job that will be hard to reach; and it's good, it's what keep us motivated, there's always something more that we want. Even A listers have to fight to get some of the jobs they want, and they also get turned down...
I know right now you feel down, but soon you'll be right up, above where you were, pretty soon.
Blake...never lose sight of the "what you already know"...that being our industry is a numbers game. It can be down to the flip of a coin at times...your hair was just not quite the right colour...or, his eyes swung it for the casting in the end....etc etc.
Getting seen is what we have to perfect...and that's where we all have our own destiny in our own hands.
Have I got a good reel? Is my picture as good as it should be? Are my application letters as strong as they might be? Is my agent doing enough....and am I doing everything I can do to help my agent? etc etc etc
Thereafter....never lose sight of the fact that as each year goes by...another group of hopeful actors ...some who fit your exact casting type...further create an even lesser chance of getting seen!
If you are positive you are doing everything "you" can do....then you need to turn your thoughts to those less fortunate than you have been. Yesterday my mate called me wanting to come to my agent....he has some great TV credits...but has had one meeting this year and that's it! So don't lose sight of the fact, that your CV is better than many others.
Finally...of course you could be starving in a flood ridden camp....stuck down that Chilean mine....suffering with cancer and so on.
It's hard...and it's frustrating....that's life....but it ain't life threatening! There is always something more important to worry about than acting....I could not hack it without thinking like that at times!!
We are all 1 call away from that dream role...your time will come again mate...just hang in there. Take a 2 week break...and do some part time work...build up a few quid...and then return with vengeance and a smile!!
as for the advice: stop typing in a forum.....from a guy who, at the time, was typing in a forum...Ummmm? Hmmmm!
You also were an usher there, and I've been so proud of the way you've blossomed in LA. You defo made the right choice to go. I remember the chat on the phone we had where you were frustrated and had decided to move.
To all the others: thank you so much. I'm really overwhelmed by how much warmth and generosity you guys have shown. I've had one person quietly post me privately and try to belittle me, but most of us know how tough it is in this biz.
Ah, ah! Yes Blake, I remember very well being an usher and barely managing to get an audition for an unpaid student film every few months...and fail that audition :-)
As long as the general direction is up, we're ok!
Just want to say to anyone who is being negative towards you over this Blake, the law of karma will get them! I'm glad this is such a supportive forum - it's certainly kept me going at times.
It's a sh1tty time for a lot of people right now, some of the most talented actors I know are finding things hard! I was there feeling exactly the same a month or so ago - Mark K will testify to that one!
There's a lot of positives here - look at all the people who have offered and given you support - take them up on it! Have a realistic look at your CV and the work you've done - allow yourself to feel good about how much you've developed as a person and an actor over the last few years! All to often we're so focussed on getting the next role & the next pay check we don't give ourselves time to appreciate what we've done - it'll help with your self belief and your motivation!
It's ok to feel like it's all getting too much, but try not to let it overwhelm you. Get back into the habit of being positive and proactive, do a little bit of something each day. Maybe now's a good time to look into developing/creating your own work? I think I saw you at Theatre Souk the other night? It's been a great eye-opener for me being a part of it and seeing all these up and coming theatre companies achieve so much from so relatively little!
Ignore the miscreants who have criticised you for feeling down, and know that by the laws of physics they'll feel it too at some point ;-)
Hope it helps...
Suzanne
x
ps. I think this is my longest post to date - i'll be getting into Lee territory soon ;-)
It boils down to perspective Blake and enjoying life.
Without the downs you can't get a perspective of the ups!
At the moment it doesn't really matter what industry you're in, they're all under pressure in different ways.
There are no stable jobs for life - in any field - including undertakers as a mate of mine has just gone back in to!
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