Chat Up Lines

  • Mary Gerardine Hooton

    Actor

    I'm creating a new piece based around chat up lines/techniques/experiences, and I'd like everyone's help.

    What's the best and worse chat up lines you've heard, or said? Best and worse experiences? Embarrassing stories? Most successful techniques? Every been speed dating?

    If you don't want to write on here, you can PM me, or email [email protected]

    or go to the forum at www.freewebs.com/artificiallightmanchester/

    I'll change all names to protect the embarrassed!

    Thanks in advance!

    Mary

    • 15th Aug 2009
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  • User Deleted

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    A guy once text me the following in response to me saying I was hungover:

    You need Vitamin Me. To be taken orally twice a day.

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 1
  • User Deleted

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    Hi Mary, I was out in a bar after my work Christmas do once and I was wearing a dress with a bow and a guy said to me 'you look like a present, are you for me?' cheesy!

    J x

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 2
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    I love those two.

    The only I remember is the one my husband used 'God, your arse looks great in that dress'!!!

    It obviously worked though, we've been together 9 years and celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary next thursday.

    Lovely to meet you last week, Mary.

    Sarah

    xx

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 3
  • Jonathan Goodwin

    Actor

    The Vitamin Me line - crude, lewdd and utterly fabulous!! I bet that went down well!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 4
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    A guy asks a girl in a bar, "how do you like your eggs in the morning?"

    The girl answers with the immortal line, "unfertilised, now [email protected] off !"

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 5
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    Jonathan - I want to answer you with the phrase that naturally and innocently comes to mind, but fear the consequences of the responses it would get. ;o) The date went well, had a hangover the next day, wanted some sympathy from the potential new guy. Got that. Was there a date no 2? No!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 6
  • Jonathan Goodwin

    Actor

    Oh well, his loss, and your lucky escape!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 7
  • Hugh Osborne

    Actor

    Which reminds me of the old joke about the couple in bed together:

    Her: Shall we try the missionary position?

    Him: What's that?

    Her: It's where I lie here in bed, and you f**k off to Africa!

    Can't help with the general tenor of the thread, I'm afraid: it's been such a long time since I've been on a date that all my chat up lines are in Latin.

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 8
  • Jonathan Goodwin

    Actor

    I don't recall ever knowingly having been chatted up, in fact. I'm notoriously useless at noticing anything approaching a tell-tale sign. Of course, inevitably I'm haplessly devoid of the chat-up "knack" too, and the Walk of Shame has been traversed on many an inglorious occasion too. What a winning comination!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 9
  • Nathan Masterson

    Actor

    I once, to my shame, asked a girl in a club 'Is there any point in me trying?'. Amazingly, there was!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 10
  • Mary Gerardine Hooton

    Actor

    Some classic lines, keep them coming!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 11
  • Forbes KB

    Actor

    In line with Sarah's "your arse looks cracking in that dress!",success for me followed this exchange exchange!

    Crowded night club. 2:20am

    ForbesKB

    I'm really too pissed to chat you up now. Can I buy you a coffee tomorrow lunchtime when I've sobered up!

    Gorgeous redhead!

    I can't I'm engaged and my fiancee wouldn't like it!!

    ForbesKB

    Oh, come on! I'm asking you for coffee not for a sex!!

    To my surprise, she turned up for the coffee invite and we've now been togther for 11 years and married for 9 of them.

    It's not the line itself that makes the success or failure, it is the manner in which it is delivered!!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 12
  • Jonathan Goodwin

    Actor

    That's rather a charming story! It always helps, of course, that the would-be object of one's affections fancies you in the first place. If he/she does, then you could probably get away talking utter drivel, they would still say "Yes" (depending upon the question, of course!).

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 13
  • Leigh Livingstone

    Actor

    There are the classics:

    "Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants"

    "Are you tired? You've been running through my head all night"

    "Is that a ladder in your stocking or the stairway to heaven?"

    Some worst night experience/lines and insights from some "special" men (not mine I swear!)

    "You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger"

    "Bras are like tupperware for boobs, keeps them fresh right?"

    "The guy I was talking to just posted a pic of a sad weener and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating"

    "If you're ever in Scotland we should have sex. Or get coffee, whatever"

    Excuse the crudeness, just thought they were too funny!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 14
  • Leila Reid

    Actor

    right i have a few (these are mainly from my nights out at uni):

    did it hurt when you fell? From Heaven that is.

    my phone is broken can you try ringing it for me?

    my crouch has never felt as tight as it does around you.

    Do you want a night with me and my friend durex?

    Do you want to dance the horizontal tango later tonight?

    I have every type of lube on the planet including blackcurrent.

    I don't want to feel you up I want to tingle you up!

    my god your hot, do you want to realease some of that energy with me?

    fancy a shag?

    Is that a padded bra? If it isn't then damn you have nice boobs!

    guy: do you know what my favorite position?

    me: no, but I can tell you want mine is

    guy: what's that the missionary, you look like a women you likes to be dominated ( guy grabs me one hand around my waiste and the starts to try and finger me)

    me: nope one where your not there.

    then I am moving away from the bar back to my friends with drinks

    guy: I love red head there so fiery! let me help you carry those drinks you might burn them up your so hot!

    me: no thanks!

    If I remember any more I will let you know

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 15
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    Internet disconnected - not sure if mine posted:

    A guy in a club once said to me:

    "Have you got a licence to be that sexy?"

    Bleeeegh!!!!

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 16
  • Charles Delaney

    Actor

    ...Yesch...Get yer coat Luv;

    Youv'e pulled !

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 17
  • Jonathan Goodwin

    Actor

    *shudders* I can see now why folks choose to grow old alone and breed cats....

    • 30th Jul 2009
    • 18
  • Leila Reid

    Actor

    I agree I am seriously considering breeding cats but surely they cannot get worse then the ones I have already had!

    • 30th Jul 2009
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