Father Christmas

  • David Laurence

    Actor

    Just cant face the thought of being father christmas.Im not booked for my usual role of Panto villain this year,but Im afraid making children happy goes against my religion.

    Nothing brings a bigger smile to my face than a child cowering in the front row as I stride out onto the stage.

    Being nice to everyone at christmas is my idea of christmas hell.Humbug

    • 21st Oct 2009
    • 1508
    • 24
  • Simon Burbage

    Actor

    you could corner the market in "Anti-Santa" ? would definitley make a grotto more interesting!

    • 14th Oct 2009
    • 1
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    Talking of Christmas ... am doing a Series with the lovely Arthur Lowe .. scene set in a Christmas Grotto, I have dialogue with a rather lovely and buxon lady, dressed in a tight basque and who is playing a Fairy ( she was the wife of a famous name ). Arthur comes in and taps her on the shoulder, she jumps in feigned surprise, turning as she did so

    ... and the world fell apart !!!! needless to say, her rather large bosoms bazoomed out of her basque, right

    into Arthur's face. I have NEVER seen a man go so red in the face in my life. Quite obviously we had to call it a day

    ... we just couldn't stop laughing ... I still am !!!.

    • 14th Oct 2009
    • 2
  • Simon Burbage

    Actor

    ha! Merry christmas!

    • 14th Oct 2009
    • 3
  • David Laurence

    Actor

    Mm anti Santa! Interesting idea. Talking of anti , has anyone seen the film anti Christ. Now that is strange. My date last week took me to see it. I'm still recovering from the experience. Needless to say I've deleted her number from my phone. Don't judge my reaction until you see the film yourself.

    • 14th Oct 2009
    • 4
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    Never mind your anti-christ, David ... you want to see my Auntie Annie !!!! now she will make you a believer !!!

    • 14th Oct 2009
    • 5
  • Barry Newton

    Actor

    It seems that none of you have encountered " The Real Santa " Give it a try this year! I have inside information that he will be at The Rainforest Cafe Piccadilly.You may become reformed and refreshed Barry

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 6
  • Simon Burbage

    Actor

    The real Santa? I thought he was in Greenland? must have downsized. Bloody recession.

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 7
  • Barry Newton

    Actor

    He is like a time traveler never in one place,can also freeze time so it looks as if he is in many places at the same time. Go with it enjopy the Christmas spirit

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 8
  • Mark Kempner

    Actor

    Hey..justa minute check your contract and read the Sanity Clause!

    Don't be ridiculous...nobody believes in Sanity Clause!!!

    Groucho Marx R.I.P!

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 9
  • Simon Burbage

    Actor

    he's a smart one,that santa fellow.

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 10
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    Are you actually telling me, that there isn't a geezer that comes down my chimney, drops prezzies under the tree ?

    .. now that's fighting talk, Soggy Mog !

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 11
  • Simon Burbage

    Actor

    next you'll be telling me it was my mum all along!

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 12
  • Mark Kempner

    Actor

    As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

    The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 13
  • Barry Newton

    Actor

    Great material folks keep it up. To update the chimney store Santa now has a magic key it only works at Christmas,it opens all doors,turns off all alarms and dogs.Trankfully hes to good to loose it or lend it out.

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 14
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    Mark ... she's more likely to say " I'll have the best thing in your goody bag, Grandad ... or I start screaming pervert !!!! "

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 15
  • Alan Brent

    Actor

    As now I am, according to an International Documentary team, one of the top seven Santas in the World I should point out that your speculation and derogatory remarks about me will result in you all going on the Naughty List and none of you will be getting any presents this year.

    So when you find a lump of coal in the bottom of your Christmas stocking you will know why!!!!

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 16
  • Barry Newton

    Actor

    well said number two.

    • 15th Oct 2009
    • 17
  • Alan Brent

    Actor

    And as for you, Barry....well your stocking will never hold all the gifts you will get. Make sure you hang up your tights!!!!

    • 19th Oct 2009
    • 18
  • Farah Sardar

    Actor

    Wot no Santa? No Santa????

    You'll be telling me the moon isn't made of cheese next!

    I used to do a little Christmas thing for my kids. Now I realize was just making them more spoilt - so now they get nothing!......Ah, the season of good will.

    Would you believe when my son was younger he said 'If you lose an adult tooth does tooth fairy still come!!'

    Now of course I'm much more cynical. There's God and Easter Bunny and that's it.

    • 19th Oct 2009
    • 19