giving up

  • Rebecca Probyn

    Actor

    I never thought I would say this.. but I am really thinking of quitting "the business".

    i have been feeling really down as I have had not have a job for a while. Also someone in my family said that I should stop as there are so many people in this career and I should get a proper job.

    it really hurts when someone who you feel should be supporting you tells you that you might as well quit.

    Perhaps they are right. .. meh..... and its monday. ... joy

    • 21st May 2008
    • 2026
    • 23
  • Alice Henley

    Actor

    Rebecca, I know its tough and there are times when all of us feel like chucking it in, but your cv is great and you've already had a couple of good jobs this year. You shouldn't let negative vibes from others effect you, as far as the "proper job" comment goes then well.... you know this is very much a proper job, but unlike other jobs this takes a certain more amount of dedication and perserverencem as well as self belief. Don't lose sight of why you chose this profession and the joy you take from the jobs you do get, hang in there after all, we all need these stories of struggle and desperation otherwise we'd have nothing to tell jonathan ross!!

    • 19th May 2008
    • 1
  • Blake J Askew

    Actor

    Rebecca,

    Part of growing as a person is being able to make your own choices and take responsibilty for them as well. I ahve seen for the last while in you a strength to push and persevere through seemingly hopeless situations and you constantly seem to encourage others. Your family member is right that there are few jobs, but I have always assumed you were in this for the long term .

    If you DO choose to leave, , do this from a place of deciding something esle is worth your time and energy- many have left as thier pririrties are forn afamily, or another cause- Glenda Jackson( a highly accliamed actress became an MP) . I think there should be a freedome to leave if you want to, but as long as you know that you are doing it for YOU and from negative words from a famiuly member. Do not allow others and their approval to dictate the path in your life.

    Not that you ned my apporval, but I think if you will leave from a place of otheres negative words, this is not the right way to leave- I personaly think you should stick at it until you have independent perspective as to what you really want from your life. You are a valuable and intrinsically precious person person and you cannot allow the subtle shaming and condemnnation to affect your choices. Leave if you choose to, but do it for YOU, not from someone elses agenda.

    x

    • 19th May 2008
    • 2
  • Clare Cameron

    Actor

    Ah, Bex - trust me, am having one of those days as well but you have to ask, could you look yourself in the mirror if you quit? Of course there's an insane amount of competition but tenacity is a huge part of survival in this crazy industry.

    The questions you have to ask are; could you be happy doing something else? Is there anything you can do better?

    Just remember that the downside to this business (that you never know where the next work is coming from) is also it's upside - in a week's time, who knows where you might be and what you might be doing.

    At the end of the day you've got to be able to answer to yourself and only you are best placed to know whether you want to/can continue, and continue for some time!

    Whatever you decide to do darlin, I hope it's right for you.

    CC x

    • 19th May 2008
    • 3
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    Where I am right now is focusing on trying to work out what my 'other career' is going to be. Once I've got that sorted so that I am happy with the day job then the craziness of being an actor will be a breeze. Certainly for me it not the acting that I want to give up it's the not acting and being unhappy in a job I don't care about. Sort that and life will be SO much better.

    • 19th May 2008
    • 4
  • Owen Frost

    Actor

    I know exactly how you feel. It can be really hard at times to stay motivated and positive.

    To be honest, there is no real answer in overcoming this negative feeling apart from getting acting work, and to do that, one needs to stay motivated and positive, it's a catch 22!

    If you're anything like me, you've probably considered quitting on more than one occaision. Try to remember what stopped you quitting before and focus on that.

    You reap what you sow.

    • 19th May 2008
    • 5
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    If we all got an acting job for every time we thought about giving up - we'd be deliriously happy!!

    It's an awful place to be at, but don't lose faith. Something really is just around the corner - that's the way it goes with this life we've chosen. It's like one big rollercoaster!

    I agree with comment about finding a 'money making' job that you like and that you can make work for you in terms of being able to take time off. It keeps the family happy as well, as it's something they can relate to. Some of their negative comments are just that they're worrying about you - but if they can see there's not so much to worry about on the paying your rent side of things, they'll be more positive in encouraging you when you do get a fabulous acting job!

    I read a great thing the other day talking about the difference between having a focus and having goals and thought it might help. The main point was that we all have numerous and varied goals (eg to do a summer season at the Globe, to finish my showreel, to get a voice agent, to get paid film work) and we chip away at each of them a little, but don't feel like we're getting anywhere. But, if we have an overall focus and feed our goals into that, then we should see results happen. So for example, if I want my main focus to be getting paid film work then my goals might be:

    -do 4 really good student / low or no budget films in the next 3 months

    -get my showreel together

    -get my showreel on CCP / Spotlight

    -send my reel out to agents & independent film companies

    that way I should feel more like I'm getting somewhere and so I would feel more positive about it. Then, once I've achieved this focus, I could say focus on getting my summer season at the Globe…

    I hope that makes sense, and maybe helps a little - I know it's made me stop and think a bit better about what I want my focus to be, and how to achieve it. And I do feel more positive about what I'm doing, whether or not the work is flooding in!

    Suzanne

    xxx

    • 19th May 2008
    • 6
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    I know how you feel. I can't help feeling like that some days.

    Think why you've decided to be an actor. You knew it would be hard and it's only a bad spell at the moment. Try and keep going, pushing to different directions - new agent, showree, voicereel, headshot and the rest of it…

    Remember the average actor works 2 week a year (sad I know…) and you already done 2 jobs this year! Its could be worse…! You're only young, with the rest of your career ahead of you. In this business things can change over night.

    As for people who tell you to get a normal job- well… people always feel they know what's the best thing for you to do. Unless your in this business its hard to understand that not working every week doesn't mean you've failed. They might want the best for you but don't truly understand what it means to be an actor, and why we put ourselves throw this pain of unsuccessful auditions or none at all.

    I tend to ignore them. It's your choice what you do with your life and no one can tell you whether your choice it's the right one or the wrong one.

    Do what you love doing. And do it the best you can. Nothing has to be forever. You can always do something else. And you don't have to give it all up! You can just take a brake if you feel it's making you unhappy.

    xx

    • 19th May 2008
    • 7
  • Nathan Head

    Actor

    Rebecca no! dont quit! dont listen to them!

    i get it all the time, like you, from people who you think would support you!

    people that tell you "you are wasting your time" when you go across the country for an audition and " you are being taken for a ride" when you do an expenses only film. . .

    just ignore them! its your dream and you are good at it too!

    they will change their tune when they know someone who is famous!

    keep it up! your day will come i know it!

    • 19th May 2008
    • 8
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    Rebecca, I am really new to this business and I was thinking at one point. From listening to my dad 24 sevon it was bloody hard but only I could make the final decission. My decission is that I want to earn some money for a couple of years and continue the acting classes and things and weekends. Once I can support myself Im going back to the dream so that way i am not giving up just postoning

    • 20th May 2008
    • 9
  • Lewis Harwood

    Actor

    It is tough at times...

    IF you are seriously considering stopping acting - don't just stop for the sake of it. Only jump ship if there is another boat waiting for you. Its very difficult being an actor - and quitting has to be something that has crossed everyones mind at one time or another. But if there isn't something else there that you feel you would want to do, then quitting with no other prospects of another profession would only make it harder!

    • 20th May 2008
    • 10
  • Nadia Ostacchini

    Actor

    Bex nooooooooooooooo!!! Gorra dash back to work (ah, the luvly temp job), but don't be naughty, go see a play & feel inspired. Do some thinking. Start devising your own project, however, small. Do a class, read a play, do something creative. Take time-out if you must, but giving-up? Think about that very very carefully.

    Off I go. nadia xx

    • 20th May 2008
    • 11
  • User Deleted

    This profile has been archived

    I myself have thought about it many times, I just get so bored, I dont haven't had a proper job in 11 years since I embarked on my own personal quest to become an actor.

    I haven't really been active here foir a while.

    I have just strted an Open University course in photography just to keep me occupied.

    I was offered a part in a well known TV series a couple of months ago which would have kept me busy for about two months and at the 11th hour they changed the brief. To say I was devastated would be an understatement.

    However on the positive side I have just been invited to a casting tomorrow, my first this year! and applied through this site, my 2nd casting through this site in a year, and I got the last one.

    I think we are all in the same boat, however I wish you the best in whaever you do.

    We never know what is around the corner.

    All the best,

    Steve.

    • 20th May 2008
    • 12
  • Rebecca Probyn

    Actor

    Thank you so much for all the kind words on here and the pm's.

    It is soooo hard sometimes.. its nice to know I am not on my own.. Allthough I don't wish that feeling on anyone!

    Well guys, as of yesterday I got a part in a show going to the Edinburgh festival and an audition next week! perhaps it is the business's way of telling me to stick at it..

    I like to think so

    once gain, thanks guys all your comments really helped.

    • 20th May 2008
    • 13
  • Blake J Askew

    Actor

    Well,

    The Edinburgu may not be paid, but its a highly prestigious job and will be a good Cv credit- you conquer the land little by little. Not all at once,. the ones who do that become arrogant and prideful- you will , however develop character, perseverance and be able to encourage others who have been through this frustration. Its all good.

    :)

    • 20th May 2008
    • 14
  • Nadia Ostacchini

    Actor

    That's smashin` news! Really enjoy these shows and give 100%. Hopefully, they'll lead to your next ones. Alot of us actors get work through recommendations, I find...

    ..Edinburgu?! Did Blake post his msg with a rumbling belly today? ;-))

    • 20th May 2008
    • 15
  • Blake J Askew

    Actor

    Ha ha.

    Im just a bad typist? Who would have believed I majored as a journalist as well????

    • 21st May 2008
    • 16
  • Lu Capewell

    Actor

    if you were realy ready to give up you wouldnt of posted this,this is a job we do cos someting tells us we have to we dont do it cos its easy(its not eay working a 50 hour wek tempin then coming home an starting on acting stuff) an we dont do it 4 the money we do it cos we wouldnt b happy any other way,im having to make a big change by thinking of giving up the day job which pays the bills to do this.just think some acters(liz smith 4 1)dont get any work noticed till after ther 65 lol you will b fine

    oh an if that didnt work just say flip flop out loud it always makes me smile lol

    hope iv helped

    Lu

    • 21st May 2008
    • 17
  • Rebecca Probyn

    Actor

    Sorry I have to disagree, I was seriously considering givenup and I am still not entirely sure how my career in this businesss is going to turn out. I have been offered these jobs which I will do and use it as a test to see what I really want to do.

    yes we do this proffession because we love it but we also need money so the love of it isnt enough after a while.

    • 21st May 2008
    • 18
  • Blake J Askew

    Actor

    I agree with Rebecca- there comes a time when everyone has to make theoir choices.... its also harder for women than men and this is always a factor as well....

    • 21st May 2008
    • 19