Reminiscences

Pity that wasn't caught on film Steve ... sods law strikes again !!

• 14 years ago
• 21

Last year - Noel Coward's "This Happy Breed" at the Barons Court Theatre. Well into Act 1. All quiet backstage and a pair of legs protruding from the bottom of the curtains of entrance stage left, waiting anxiously to go on, when we all spy a dribble of water coming from inbetween said pair of legs. First thought "poor bugger has wet himself with nerves"..... shortly followed by more water (clearly too much for a grown man to deposit) and bits of... yes... toilet paper and cr*p seeping into the dressing room. Cut to backstage - slow motion backward creeping/faces contorted in disgust and disbelief trying to all back into one corner of the tiny dressing room as quiety as possible, whilst picking up any valuables and costume from the floor along the way. Hilarious. The men's toilet had leaked sewage from one side of the stage to the other. It was like the beginnings of the scene from Titanic!! I had to go on stage in a dressing gown with no shoes or socks on at that point!! Gross. Guess what?.... the interval came, stage manager came in, looking like he was about to have sort sort of epileptic fit, weilding a mop and bucket (as if that's going to help!) and we trooped on to the end of the play with the theatre smelling of a cocktail of bleach/cr*p. Bless the audience for coming back in! At one point I walked on stage and caught out of the corner of my eye an audience member's bag getting soaked with excrement!! Happy days!!

:0) S

• 14 years ago
• 22

Hi fiddly-dee, an Actors life for me .

• 14 years ago
• 23

A high silk hat and a silver cane
A watch of gold with a diamond chain
Hi-diddle-dee-day
An actor's life is gay
It's great to be a celebrity
An actor's life for me
Hi-diddle-dee-dum
An actor's life is fun
Hi-diddle-dee-dee
An actor's life for me
A wax mustache and a beaver coat
A pony cart and a billy goat
Hi-diddle-dee-dum
An actor's life is fun
You wear your hair in a pompadour
You ride around in a coach and four
You stop and buy out a candy store
An actor's life for me!
Hi diddle dee dee
An actor's life for me
A high silk hat and a silver cane
A watch of gold and a diamond chain
Hi diddle dee dee
You sleep till after two
You promenade a big cigar
You tour the world in a private car
You dine on chicken and caviar
An actor's life for me!

Allan! Hello. Too true - it's the closest to date that I have come to Kate Winslet's career (ref: Titanic)!!

:0) xx

• 14 years ago
• 24

What ho- Pinocchio ... that reminds me .... must get something done about my nose .... well ... not exactly a nose
... more of a ski-jump.

• 14 years ago
• 25

Not so Allan!! You definitely have a nose for wine tasting!! ;0)

xx S

• 14 years ago
• 26

That's true, just drop my schonker into the glass, et voila .. a mouth is so passe don't you think ??

• 14 years ago
• 27

Nat ... it's not the only thing it's good at ..!!

• 14 years ago
• 28

So c'mon Fellas ... out with the wife's
'frig me' stilettos, bit of lippy, don't forget the mascara .. and that dress you always like taking off .. et voila ... a star is born.
You've made my day Nat !!!

• 14 years ago
• 29

Oh, Shannon, what is it about stages and sewage? It even seems to follow certain mangements.

In one venue, during a short run of an Orton play, having argued with management who resetrved the only sanitary facilities for the audience at the last minute, forcing one actress to clear the green room and press a baltee dish into service as an echt chamberpot, became aware part of the way through second half that weather was worsening and the dock doors were taking the full force of the elements. Also became aware that said actress , clad in underwear, furcoat, and that's it transfixed with more than natural horror at my antics. sneaked glance in direction , and saw the ingress caused by heavy rain flooding the disputed conveniences, and the courtyard across which they stood (and the audience would have to escape). It must have happened before. There was a drain in the middle of the stage.

Venue subsequently compulsorily puchased during a redevelopment, and mangement relocated some miles to the East on the proceeds. Five years later, received their offer of employment with a philosophical shrug of 'That was Then, this is Now' Arrived to find large flashy bar but still no backstage loos, and found philosophy paling a little. Flung open loading doors to park bike in courtyard, just as cover to foul drain gave up the unequal struggle, and rapidly inundated the auditorium (and my socks - I saved the bike). No drain this time though. Will some people never learn?

• 14 years ago
• 30

The more things change .. the more they stay the same ...

• 14 years ago
• 31