May I thank you all again for your inputs…for a thread I believed would disappear faster than my last pay packet, how thoroughly absorbing I and it seems others have found it.
Christine, I think your right…I could do with another qualification, perhaps call it 'Tears on Tap' and add it as a Post Nominal after my name with the letters TOT…Christine, you've been great, thank you
Milly, Great to chat with you again…yes sadly, a troubled man, always to be know as "The man who could not cry!!" (There's a book in there somewhere!!)…read on I have good news…Chat again soon I hope, Regards Steve
Splat…you ended your last reply with "hope helps"…God yes, Splat it has. I have sat today in my study (sounds posh..spare bedroom really, but don't tell anyone) and thought for the first time in a long while about the inner me…using some of the advice from this forum…It started, like a bit of self hypnosis to relive parts of my life, I think they call it regression. I started with school memories and worked myself forward, I found faces became clearer, the scene became more vivid than I had previous remembered.
As I moved nearer to my time spent in war zones and providing humanitarian aid to those affected by the evil men do. I found I had not suppressed the memories, just the natural human emotion that should relate to that memory. I feel that I can file those memories away safely, because everything associated with that time in my life, I and my colleagues were there to help and do only good.
Coming closer to today, I found myself looking around the room as I was moving in and out of memories and focused on a small drawing my 5 year old daughter did for me a short time back, I had looked at it probably hundreds of times since it had been drawn…it was nothing special, the sort of drawing you might find on a fridge door in any kitchen, but I had a flash back to the very moment it was drawn, to the look of complete joy and pride in my daughters face as she proudly said "This is for you, Daddy" I was instantly filled with a rush of high emotion, with a feeling I had not felt for many years, and yes TEARS…(in fact, it has happened again, just writing this out) I don't know why it has affected me so, as the actually event do not create the same reaction…but hey, I'm not complaining, I have managed to wet a hanky for the first time in years and its all down to my friends on here.
I don't know if what I have done today is something I can create over and over again, whether it was a safe thing to do in the first place….probably not!!!...It was a 1st step but next time I will make sure I have someone trained with me, just incase.
Splat, I must admit your help has been priceless, Thank You. Oh, by the way...I have never worked with a Lion on stage, but, I once met that great actor and man of the mountains, Brian Blessed (I'm sure Alan knows him very well) when he addressed me as "My Dear Boy" the boom almost made my insides pop…take care for now.
Regards Steve
