Personally, I would get the plumber to send a video of himself fixing someone else's boiler - don't just settle for the one plumber, ask several to offer their services.
Tell them if they are lucky enough to get the job, they'll be required to do it for free, but you should be able to cover travelling expenses if it's not too far.
Also, ask them to provide their own overalls - brand new, if possible - and eat lunch before arriving on set...I mean, your kitchen.
Then promise to give them a photo of the boiler they worked on in six months time.
They will be required to fix the boiler when you want it fixed, in the way you want it fixed, according to the time-frame you want it fixed in, and to do it smiling...sad...happy...angry...thoughtfully...sexily - no, that's too much, pull it back...insanely...No, that doesn't work, do it like you did it before. Perfect! Now, do it again.
I mean, there must be thousands of plumbers with years of experience and training willing to go to those lengths, surely?
Now, now, now Colin, we don't want plumbers to start thinking that they're doing us a favour - it being a privilege to pee and all - rather than the other way around. Next thing you know, they'll be getting above their station and asking - nay, demanding - to be paid for their services which, let's face it, could be done by anyone who's read a book on the subject. You know the ones I mean - the wannabees who think plumbing is just a case of putting a couple of pipes together.
"ha! the irony of it all is that the first job i have just found that is unpaid but near to where i live added in the casting call that "no experience is necessary" ..... lol what do i make of that?"
That wouldn't have been Antigone at the Southwark Playhouse?
I was most perturbed when the form I had to fill in on the day said no experience necessary... eek!
That is an excellent chart! I shall refer to it in all future instances, so therefore if you are not my mother or offering me your kidney then I need to see the money! :0)
There is a new reality tv show coming to your screens soon. Look out for...
'Any Drain will Do'.
See the hardships the hissy fits and tears, as a bunch of hopeful plumbers show their skills to a case hardened panel of boilermen & women.
Watch it to the (u b)end and see the winner flushed with success!
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