Worst line of dialogue you've ever had?

  • User Deleted

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    Hi gang - Just thought of this thread.

    Come on, make me cringe.

    Mine was in EMMERDALE. Get this for clunky exposition: "Its not every day a cocaine-addicted peer of the realm flees the country leaving a servant girl dead in a car crash" In one bladdy sentence.

    You can see the clip on my profile.

    Any more dreadfuly shoehorned expo lines to offer? Anyone had the classic "My lord, your carriage is outside?" Or one of those lines that said out of context sounds utterly hilarious??

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • Chris Conway

    Actor

    "... if the measure of thy love be heaped like mine and that thy skill be more to blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath this neighbour air...." Nasty. Sickly. Sweet.

    C

    • 26th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    Hey Fortworth, it could have been worse. You could have been asked to say that in THE BILL :O)

    Theres a challenge...

    • 26th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    i didnt have to say it, but after 6 or so of us had been sitting at a table for a good ten minutes, someone then had to say....

    "look! a ouiji board!"

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • Rachel Ogilvy

    Actor

    This is true.....

    .....'And here comes Shakespeare's lesser known brother, Bert'.....

    Love it.

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    'Fancy a bit, doll'...Take the High Road. Line got cut - what a shock...

    'You are such a beautiful Princess, look your beauty has belayed the storm' - Cinderella (I was Prince Charming!)

    'How dare you suggest I have the plague' - Roses of Eyam (ps I was riddled with the plague at the time!)

    The list goes on...this job is quite hard to do with a straight face sometimes...

    Hx

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • Kelly Bibb

    Actor

    'He's been visiting one of those transvestite clubs or whatever they're called'...Good old Durbridge!!

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    The best anecdote about this scenario comes courtesy of Harrison Ford, who, whilst stressed out on the set of the first Star Wars movie said to George Lucas; "You can write this shit, George - but you can't say it."

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    Mine was in a piece called Jobe that I did whilst at Uni, I was the devil and had to shout 'Skin for skin!' However the way that I shouted it came out more 'Skin Foreskin! Did not get the audience reaction I had hoped for...x

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • Sally Beaumont

    Actor

    Student film, my ONE LINE

    "I need sleep, David. I need sleep and I can't wake up."

    Followed rather predictably by david saying "What the hell does that mean?"

    COming to a showreel near you.

    Actually the showreel I currently have has a bloody awful sentence about marriage that you can tell I hate (oh dear). that's on spotlight.

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • Daniel Fearn

    Actor

    Eastenders : "So do you talk the talk or just walk the walk the walk?"

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    Thats great Kellie. It reminds me I got thrown out of a Harvest Festival junior school rehearsal for constant corpsing during the song 'The Earth Is Yours Oh God' on the part 'You nouriSH IT with rain' Couldnt help it.

    Thankyou all for responding. I'm glad to see we all have to toli in the salt mines of crap dialogue sometimes.

    A film school graduate friend of mine once was given a script by one of his classmates to film which included the brilliant stage direction 'SHE GIVES HIM A LOOK THAT SAYS IT ALL'

    Now there's a challenge....?

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    stage directions - never even thought of them!

    My favourite was 'looks at him confused but all knowing'...Meryl Streep would struggle!

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    Equus.... playing Hester the barrister.

    H Theres something strange about him Martin...

    M What

    H Vibrations!

    Getting through that without giggling was a challenge!

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • Hugh Osborne

    Actor

    How about Shaw's stage direction in "Candida": "The moral arch of his universe collapses"...

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    I did a sci-fi thriller last year with a line so hyperbolic I can't remember it.

    On screen it looks like an actor saying a line so hyperbolic he can't remember it.

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    Or the clouded direction Branagh once received during a Shakespeare king's scene from a scholarly old soul.

    DIRECTOR: "You need to somehow, as it were, absent yourself from yourself"

    (Pause)

    BRANAGH: You want me to bow?

    :0)

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    Student film:

    'I love you so much... it hurts'

    Ouch!That does hurt

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • User Deleted

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    Children's Panto Xmas 2003 (A real worry!!)

    (Sung) " I'm Betty Banana, I'm Betty Banana... You'll always have some fun when you're with me"!!

    My finest moment on stage!!!

    XX

    • 27th Jun 2006
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  • Emma Burn

    Actor

    I had to sing a song last year in a panto that toured schools that went:

    I love little pussy

    Your coat is so warm

    And if I dont hurt you

    You'll do me no harm

    (and I had to sing it twice!)

    All the while stroking a small child who was lying on the floor next to me pretending to be my pussy. Oh how we laughed.

    • 27th Jun 2006
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